Friday, May 7, 2010

10 Reasons Why Sarah Palin Is An Idiot

 Sarah Palin is an idiot, and I can prove it. On Fox's Bill O'Reilly show she said:

“I think we should keep this clean, keep it simple, go back to what our founders and our founding documents meant,” she said. “They’re quite clear that we would create law based on the God of the Bible and the 10 commandments, it’s pretty simple.”

 Let's take this by the numbers.

The First Amendment of the U.S. Constitution says: "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion..."

In Exodus Chapter 20, "I am the Lord your God," Moses was told before God issued the first commandment: "You shall have no other gods before Me." 

Sorry, Sarah, right out of the shoot (no pun intended) you have a conflict of interest.

Let's look at the remaining commandments vs. the constitution.

TWO: 'You shall not make for yourself a carved image--any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.'

Oh. really, Sarah? The landfills will be packed solid with sculptures of birds, fish, worms and squirrels.

THREE: 'You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain.

C'mon, Sarah. You want only your Christian god which is unconstitutional , but assuming it is, it is not okay to curse the supreme beings of Muslims, Hindus and all other organized religions?

FOUR: 'Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.

Okay, but that's going to piss off your Jewish constituency.

FIVE: 'Honor your father and your mother.

Done. We have Mother's Day and Father's Day on the calendar..

SIX: 'You shall not murder.

Done that.

SEVEN: 'You shall not commit adultery.

It's the law in most states.

EIGHT: 'You shall not steal.

Done that, also.

NINE: 'You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.


TEN: 'You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor's.

Those laws already are on the books although it is unclear if that coveting thingy applies to banks.

I wonder what Sarah thinks about those male chauvinist authors of the Bible who concluded  Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.

Let's review: Two commandments are unconstitutional, one would be an artistic and environmental disaster to enact and the rest are already bedded in our legal system. 

Fair enough. Let's now look at some famous Biblical passages and apply it to Sarah's rule of governance. 

For I verily, absent in body, but present in spirit, have judged already, as though I were present, concerning him that hath so done this deed. (I Corinthians ch. V, v. 3)

That's the blessing Palin had in mind appointing Lt. Gov. Sean replace her as Alaska governor so she could go on the hustings and earn $12 million.

Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellers there is safety.

 (Proverbs ch. XI)
This refers to Sarah's speechwriters, sound bite scribes and her books' ghost writers.

For by wise counsel thou shalt make thy war: and in multitude of counsellers there is safety.
(Proverbs (ch. XXIV, v. 6)

This allows a Palin as commander-in-chief plausible deniability when she orders an established presidential precedence of sending the military to invade the wrong country.

A man's life consisteth not in the abundance of the things which he possesseth. (Luke 12:15)

So you critics out there, stop trashing Sarah for wearing those black leather jackets.

And you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free. (John 8:32)

Hey, Sarah, what happened to those "death panels?"

In much wisdom is much grief; and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow.

Which is why we always see Sarah Palin with a smile and happy face.

Be not curious in unnecessary matters: for more things are shrewd unto thee than men understand.

I betcha Sarah would have loved giving that answer to Katie Couric.

He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.
(Proverbs ch. XVI, v. 32)

That's a sneak preview of  Palin's campaign strategy.

When thou sittest to eat with a ruler, consider diligently what is before thee: And put a knife to thy throat, if thou be a man given to appetite. (Proverbs ch. 23, v. 1-2)
That's Sarah's  weight loss diet for the nation's fatties, the dessert being a death sentence for those who disobey.

For he is our peace, who hath made both one, and hath broken down the middle wall of partition between us (Ephesians ch. II, v. 14)

Great formula to kill a filibuster in the Senate, Sarah.

Readers comments are welcome as long as they remain civil. We reserve the right to delete any comments that are vulgar, libelous and totally irrelevant to this posting. -- Jer        

1 comment:

Torie Thompson said...

I wanted to let you know how much Malia Litman and I enjoyed your post detailing the reasons that Sarah Palin is an idiot. Malia is an author and contributor to Huffington Post and wanted to share with you a piece that has recently been publishing on Huffington Post.